About 8 years ago a friend had made an appointment to come visiting during the week. I made a point to be home at the set time and she never showed up. A few days later I came home to find out that she had stopped by expecting me to be there and of course I wasn’t for that was not the set day or time planned. I talked to her when we ran into each other to say I was sorry to have missed her and wasn’t sure where we had misunderstood each other. I was very surprised by her reaction: she was elated!
She had called and changed the day with me and I had forgotten. She shared how wonderful it felt to know that I wasn’t perfect and made mistakes too! This friend is quite a talker and continued to share her state of joy for quite a few minutes in great energy of spirit and animation.
I was slightly stunned, not sure if I should feel insulted, bewildered, entertained or just annoyed.
Perfect?! Did I give off that unforgivable and annoying persona of being perfect?! “Come bask in my glow”’ kind of person…Yuck!
To have someone be so thrilled to find you are normal and that you too make mistakes is…well, disturbing really, …at least for a little while.
A few days later she called up all apologetic—she had just found the note to remind her to change the appointment and she had never called me to do it. That must have been embarrassing for her.
I will never forget the feeling I had of someone thinking I was so perfect that I needed some visible flaws to make me more approachable or less threatening (since, I assure you, they are in abundance and multiply freely!). Or the feeling of wanting to sit down and lay out all the imperfections and mistakes I have ever made just to be seen as “one of the gals” – a lonely sense of not belonging.
But, all in all, it was a learning experience of how to treat people—no matter how great or human you may or may not think they – or you - are, you must always remember, NO ONE is perfect and that is one of the most important things we can count on in each other! It keeps us humble, teachable, and, most important, well….like able!
Howdy Spring
1 year ago